Chapter 8 - Dad on the Porch

At 6:00 PM, the doorbell rang again.
I checked the security camera on my phone. It wasn't Carol. It wasn't Jessica.
It was Dad. Alone.
He was standing on the concrete steps, hands shoved deep into the pockets of that same navy quarter-zip sweater I had bought him for his sixty-fifth birthday. He looked smaller than he had on Saturday. His shoulders were slumped, his gray hair ruffled by the damp evening breeze.
I opened the door.
"Sarah-bear," he said, using the childhood nickname he hadn't spoken in ten years.
"Dad."
"Can I come in? Just for five minutes. It's cold out here."
I looked at him for a long beat, then stepped aside. "Emma is upstairs doing her spelling homework. Keep your voice down."
He walked into the hallway, wiping his shoes twice on the mat with an old man’s deliberate slowness. He didn't take off his coat. He stood in the center of my small living room, looking around at the framed photos on the walls—all pictures of Emma. Emma at the pumpkin patch. Emma on her first day of kindergarten. Emma missing her two front teeth.
There were no pictures of Carol. There were no pictures of Jessica.
"Your mother is a mess," Dad said quietly, staring at the floor. "She hasn't eaten since noon."
"Mom will survive, Dad. She’s remarkably resilient when it comes to her own comfort."
Dad winced. "That’s not fair, Sarah. She’s your mother."
"And Emma is her granddaughter. Where was that family loyalty on Saturday morning?"
"It was a mistake!" he burst out, his voice cracking before he remembered my warning and lowered it to a harsh whisper. "It was Jessica’s idea! Jessica said it would be easier if Diane came along because Diane has that luxury suburban pass that gets discounts on car rentals! Jessica told your mother that you’d understand, that you’re always so independent, that you don't care about these kinds of things!"
"And what did you say, Dad?" I asked, stepping closer to him, my arms crossed over my chest. "When your wife and your golden daughter decided to leave my seven-year-old child out in the cold while handing prizes to the neighbor's kids... what did the man of the house say?"
Dad’s eyes shifted away. He couldn't hold my gaze.
"You told Emma she could go to the zoo," I whispered. "You looked at a little girl who loves you more than anyone in this world, and you offered her fifty-cent animal pellets while her cousins were going to the Magic Kingdom."
"I was trying to soften the blow!" he pleaded, reaching out a hand, his fingers trembling. "I was trying to make her feel better!"
"No, Dad. You were trying to make yourself feel comfortable. You were trying to smooth over Carol's cruelty so you wouldn't have to listen to her scream on the car ride home."
Dad’s hand dropped to his side. He looked suddenly, shockingly old.
"The cruise," he whispered. "Sarah... did you really book the Presidential Suite?"
The truth was out, and even now, standing in my living room after destroying my daughter's heart, his mind was still drifting toward the blue waters of the Aegean Sea.
"I did," I said. "Santorini, Dad. Just like the map above your workbench. Private car to the cliffside vineyards. Balcony big enough for ten people. First-class seats on the Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt."
A single tear spilled over Dad’s weathered cheek, running down into the deep groove beside his mouth.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he choked out.
"Because I wanted to surprise you," I said, my voice completely devoid of warmth. "I wanted to see your face when we handed you the tickets at the airport. But then I saw your face on Saturday morning instead. And I realized... you didn't deserve Santorini. You deserved the zoo."
Dad stepped back, as if I had slapped him across the mouth.
May you like
"Get out of my house, Dad," I said quietly. "Emma will be down for dinner in five minutes, and I don't want her to see you."
***