Chapter 8 - The Shyster's Gambit
On January 10th, Evelyn called me with news that made me laugh out loud in my office.
“Monica hired an attorney,” Evelyn announced, her tone dripping with amused condescension.
“Who?”
“A man named Todd R. Geller. His office is located between a vape shop and a bail bondsman in a strip mall off Route 202. His primary practice areas are low-speed fender benders and contested DUI hearings.”
“What is Mr. Geller claiming?”
“He just served me with a formal letter of representation and a pre-trial demand,” Evelyn said, the rustle of paper audible over the phone. “It is an absolute masterpiece of legal fan-fiction. He claims that your sister has an equitable interest in the property under the doctrine of *promissory estoppel* and *constructive trust*.”
“Translate that into plain English for me.”
“He is alleging that five years ago, you made a verbal promise to gift the house to Monica as an ‘advancement on her eventual family inheritance,’ and that in reliance upon that verbal promise, Monica and Greg expended ‘significant sweat equity and personal capital’ to maintain and improve the asset. He demands that you halt all eviction proceedings immediately, execute a quitclaim deed transferring fifty percent of the title to Monica, or face a countersuit for $250,000 in restitution for their emotional distress and property improvements.”
“Sweat equity?” I echoed, incredulous. “She altered the backyard without permits and left me with eight thousand dollars in township fines! The only capital she expended was on white paint and fake ivy for her Instagram backdrops!”
“I am well aware,” Evelyn replied smoothly. “Todd Geller is hoping we are terrified of litigation costs. In standard civil disputes, attorneys often advise clients to settle because taking a case through discovery costs more than paying off the squatter. But Todd Geller doesn't realize who he’s dealing with.”
“What’s our move?”
“Our move is thermonuclear,” Evelyn said, and I could hear the predatory smile in her voice. “Under Pennsylvania law, any agreement involving the transfer of real estate must comply with the *Statute of Frauds*—meaning it must be in writing, signed by the party against whom enforcement is sought. An oral promise to gift real property is legally void from its inception. Furthermore, claiming a constructive trust requires proof of fraudulent inducement. You didn't defraud Monica; Monica committed systematic fraud against *you*.”
“What do you need from me?”
“I need you to authorize a formal response,” Evelyn said. “I am sending Geller a copy of the deed, the bank records, the HOA violation reports, the unpermitted commercial use documentation, and Greg’s current employment verification. I am informing Mr. Geller that if he files this frivolous constructive trust claim in the Court of Common Pleas, I will immediately move for Rule 1023.1 sanctions against him personally for filing a bad-faith pleading without legal or factual merit. In Pennsylvania, that means Geller himself would be on the hook for our legal fees.”
“Do it,” I said without a second of hesitation.
“Consider it done. Oh, and Hannah?”
“Yes, Evelyn?”
“Under the lease terms of our formal Notice to Quit, you have the statutory right as the landlord to conduct a comprehensive structural and safety inspection of the premises prior to surrender, provided you give twenty-four hours’ written notice.”
A slow, cold thrill ran down my spine. “An inspection?”
May you like
“Yes. You, myself, and a certified home inspector. Scheduled for Saturday morning at 10:00 AM. It’s time to see exactly what your sister has done to your half-million-dollar investment.”
***
