Chapter 5 - The Man in the Mirror

The Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit was quiet except for the rhythmic, pneumatic sigh of the supplemental oxygen line and the low, reassuring pulse of the telemetry monitor.
Dale Brennan opened his eyes.
The world was bright, blurry, and smelled of betadine and cold plastic. Every muscle in his chest felt as though it had been beaten with a three-pound sledgehammer. When he tried to draw a deep breath, a sharp, white-hot ache flared across his ribs.
"Dale?"
A hand, warm and trembling, covered his left fingers.
Dale turned his head slowly. His wife, Brenda, sat in the vinyl bedside recliner. Her eyes were swollen, red-rimmed from hours of weeping, her cardigan buttoned crookedly over her blouse. Beside her stood their twenty-four-year-old son, Tyler, his construction work boots scuffed and dusty, his jaw clenched tight.
"Where..." Dale’s voice came out as a cracked, dry rasp. "Where are we?"
"Lakeshore General," Brenda choked out, pressing his hand against her cheek. "You're in the intensive care unit, Dale. You had a heart attack. A massive one."
Memory began returning in fractured, jagged shards.
The heat on the job site. The pressure in his sternum that felt like an iron band. The ambulance ride. The waiting room. The blonde nurse with the stethoscope.
“You have no idea what real pain is... You're just some girl with a stethoscope.”
Dale swallowed against the dry sandpaper in his throat. "The nurse... the girl in the scrubs..."
Tyler stepped closer to the bed rail, his expression dark with complex emotion. "You went into cardiac arrest right in the middle of the ER hallway, Dad. Dr. Reed said you were clinically dead for almost two minutes. They had to shock you twice."
Dale stared at the ceiling tiles. "I swung at her."
The confession hung in the sterile air like an anvil.
Brenda wiped a tear from her nose. "Dr. Reed told us what happened, Dale. He told us you lost your temper. He told us you pulled back your fist."
"Did I hit her?" Dale’s voice broke, a sudden, suffocating wave of shame crashing through his chest that hurt worse than the cracked ribs. "Tell me I didn't hit her."
"No," Tyler said quietly. "She dodged it. Dr. Reed said she caught you before you hit the concrete. She broke your ribs doing CPR, but she kept your brain alive until they could get the defibrillator pads on you."
The room fell into silence.
Dale closed his eyes, remembering the exact moment before darkness swallowed him.
He remembered pulling his fist back. He remembered the fury, the terrifying, childish embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of a young woman half his size. And then, he remembered her face.
She hadn't screamed. She hadn't backed away.
She had looked up at him with those clear, steady blue eyes and smiled.
“Lower your hand... Please... I'm asking you once.”
She hadn't been begging for mercy. She had been begging him to stop because she saw what his pride had blinded him to: that his heart was tearing itself apart, and every ounce of energy he wasted on anger was pulling him closer to an open grave.
"Where is she?" Dale rasped, his eyes opening, wide with urgent distress. "I need to see her. I need to tell her..."
The door to the ICU bay opened. Dr. Reed stepped inside, holding a plastic clipboard with Dale’s morning labs.
"Good to see you awake, Mr. Brennan," Dr. Reed said, offering a tired, professional smile. "Your new stent is patent, and your cardiac enzymes are trending down nicely."
"Doc," Dale said, struggling to push himself up on his elbows before Brenda gently pressed him back into the pillows. "Where's the blonde nurse? Hannah. I need to apologize to her. I need to thank her."
Dr. Reed stopped. His smile faded, replaced by a cold, weary shadow.
"Nurse Cole isn't on the unit today, Mr. Brennan," Reed said quietly.
"Did she take the weekend off?" Brenda asked.
"No, Mrs. Brennan," Dr. Reed replied, setting the clipboard on the counter with a sharp, bitter click. "Nurse Cole was placed on administrative suspension three hours ago. The hospital's risk management department is terminating her license on Monday morning for 'unauthorized physical engagement' with your husband."
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Dale stared at the physician, the monitor beside his bed spiking from seventy to one hundred and ten beats per minute in four seconds.
"She was suspended?" Dale roared, a sound that made his chest seize in agony. "Because of me?!"