civica

Chapter 8 - Cleaning House

Sunday arrived under an overcast, iron-gray sky.

The eviction deadline was midnight, but by 2:00 PM, two large moving vans were already idling in the circular driveway of the Bellevue mansion.

I arrived alone, driving my practical, unpretentious sedan.

The heavy mahogany front doors stood wide open. Inside, the grand foyer was filled with cardboard boxes, rolls of bubble wrap, and the hollow, echoing scrape of heavy furniture being moved across stone floors.

I walked through the entryway, stepping over empty packing tape rolls.

Standing in the center of the vast, empty living room was Beatrice.

She was wearing a simple woolen coat, her hair tied back in an uncharacteristically messy knot. She was watching two professional movers wrap an antique French credenza—Arthur’s favorite piece—in heavy moving blankets.

Without her luxury clothes, her jewelry, and the artificial glow of high society, she looked every single day of her seventy-two years. Her shoulders were slightly curved; her hands, held tightly in her pockets, were small and frail.

She heard the click of my heels on the bare hardwood and slowly turned around.

For the first time in my life, my mother looked at me without an expression of calculated superiority. There was no anger left in her eyes. There was only a profound, hollow exhaustion.

"Vivian," she said, her voice thin and flat.

"Mother."

She looked around the echoing room, where pale rectangles on the walls marked where massive oil paintings had hung for a quarter of a century. "The movers said they will have everything in storage by five."

"The storage unit in Kirkland is paid for twelve months," I said evenly. "You can sort through your personal effects at your own pace."

Beatrice let out a short, dry breath that sounded like a fallen leaf scraping across concrete. "Jocelyn won't speak to me. She called me yesterday from a motel room near Federal Way. She screamed at me for twenty minutes. She told me I ruined her life."

"Jocelyn ruined her own life, Mother. You just helped her write the script."

Beatrice walked slowly toward the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the expansive rear lawn, where the bare branches of the ornamental trees swayed in the cold wind.

"Do you know why I was always so hard on you, Vivian?" she asked, not looking at me.

I stayed where I was, five paces behind her. "I used to think it was because I wasn't pretty enough. Or loud enough. Or compliant enough."

Beatrice shook her head slowly. "You were too much like your father."

The words hung in the empty room, heavy and strange.

"Arthur saw right through me," Beatrice whispered, her reflection in the glass staring back at her. "From the day we met. He loved me, but he never believed my stories. He knew I was terrified of being nobody. He knew that if I didn't have the house, the clothes, and the parties, I felt like I would simply disappear into thin air. Jocelyn had that same terror. She needed the world to look at her, just like I did. We fed on each other's sickness."

She finally turned to face me.

"But you... you were born whole, Vivian. Even as a child. You would sit in your room for hours with your books, completely content. You didn't need my praise. You didn't need my approval. You were solid. And every time I looked at you, I felt small. I hated feeling small in my own home."

I looked at the woman who had spent thirty-five years making me feel like an inadequate ghost in my own family.

I waited for the old, familiar ache to strike my chest—the desperate childhood longing for her to reach out, wrap her arms around me, and tell me I had done well.

Nothing came.

The ache was completely gone. In its place was a quiet, unshakable peace.

"Being whole didn't mean I didn't need you, Mother," I said softly. "It just meant I loved you for who you were, not for what you could give me. But you couldn't tell the difference."

Beatrice’s lower lip trembled, but she didn't weep. The tears of vanity were useless now.

"The place in Edmonds..." she began, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Is it... is it terrible?"

"It’s peaceful," I said. "There is an art studio on the second floor. There is a garden in the courtyard. There are people there who don't know who Arthur Vance was, and who won't care what kind of car you drove. You have an opportunity that very few people ever get, Mother."

"What opportunity?"

"To find out who you are when you aren't performing."

The head mover stepped into the room, holding a clipboard. "Mrs. Vance? The final truck is loaded. We're ready for your signature on the bill of lading."

Beatrice looked at the clipboard, then looked back at me one last time.

She opened her mouth as if to say something—perhaps an apology, perhaps a plea—but the weight of thirty years of choices finally silenced her.

She walked over, signed the paper, and took her small leather handbag from the mantle.

"Goodbye, Vivian," she murmured.

"Goodbye, Mother."

I stood by the window and watched her walk out the front doors, down the stone steps, and climb into the passenger seat of the town car I had hired to take her to Edmonds.

The car drove down the circular drive, passed through the iron gates, and disappeared down the tree-lined avenue.

I took out my phone, dialed Marcus, and spoke two words into the receiver:

May you like

"Sell it."

***

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